Night out with old aunties and one drugged up.

Still upset that he has to go away for 3 days. Whether he is cheating or will be do I care? Or is it a matter or race for me? Who does it first? Do I really love this man to feel this way?

Train stinks of what racial mindset I have. Why do they leave that stench and that bad manners or talking so loud? And yet I work with this kind everyday 

So what is my issue? The fact my husband will leave me with potential of doing harm to the very shaky trust left of this marriage? Or is it because I haven't got back at him.

I still think about him. The very essence of what I long for. The one that I want and I can't get. The one that still leaves that hope an tingling feel in me.

This man haunts me. Even when he is divorced he haunts me. With hope and with what I can never have. He may be my soulmate. But does he know? Will he ever?